Finding out you are unexpectedly pregnant can bring up a lot of emotions. It can be even harder when the person closest to you feels strongly about what you should do, while you are still trying to understand what you want.
You may be worried about losing your relationship, disappointing him, or facing the future on your own. While you do not have to ignore his feelings, you also deserve the time and space to understand how you feel.
Ohana Health is here to provide you with confidential pregnancy services, including free pregnancy testing and limited ultrasounds, so you can see how your pregnancy is developing and learn more about your options.
We will never pressure you into making a pregnancy decision. Schedule an appointment today to get the information you need.
Separate His Feelings From Your Decision
Your partner may have genuine concerns about the pregnancy. He may be thinking about finances, housing, your relationship, work, school, or whether either of you feels ready to become parents.
If these concerns are weighing on your partner, it may help to know that local community resources and parenting education are available to provide additional support. Ohana Health can also provide free education and support at our clinic and connect you with community resources that may be available to you.
Remember, listening to someone’s feelings is different from allowing them to decide for you.
Try to notice the difference between “This is what he wants” and “This is what I want.” You can care about your partner’s fears without automatically making them your own.
Ask Yourself What You Would Want
When someone is strongly encouraging you toward one option, it can become difficult to process your own thoughts.
Consider asking yourself:
- What am I feeling about this pregnancy?
- What am I most afraid of?
- What would I want if nobody else had an opinion?
- Am I considering abortion because it is what I want, or because I feel pressured to choose it?
- What information do I still need before I can make a decision?
You do not have to have an immediate answer. These questions can be a starting point for understanding your own feelings and identifying the information or support you may need.
Pay Attention to How You’re Being Treated
Pressure becomes more concerning when it turns into threats, intimidation, manipulation, controlling behavior, or repeatedly pushing you after you have said you are unsure.
Your safety comes first. If you feel unsafe or are experiencing threats or coercion, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for confidential support at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
You deserve to be able to make decisions about your pregnancy without being threatened or coerced.
Seek Healthy Support
Consider talking with someone who can listen without trying to decide for you. This could be a trusted friend, family member, counselor, healthcare provider, mentor, or team member at Ohana Health.
Healthy support should help you understand your feelings and ask better questions.
Get the Information You’re Missing
It can be difficult to make a decision when you are still missing important information about your pregnancy. A pregnancy test can confirm the presence of the hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), but it cannot tell you how far along you are, where the pregnancy is located, or whether the pregnancy is developing.
A limited ultrasound at our clinic can provide information about these details. This information can help you better understand your pregnancy and identify situations that may need further medical evaluation, such as a possible ectopic pregnancy or pregnancy loss.
You can also take time to learn about your pregnancy options, including parenting, adoption, and abortion. Learning what each option could look like for you and what each may involve can help you make a decision based on information rather than fear or pressure.
At Ohana Health, we offer the Ohana Education & Empowerment Program, fatherhood classes, and referrals to community resources if you decide to continue your pregnancy.
You Don’t Have to Decide Alone
You do not have to figure out your pregnancy, your relationship, and your future all at once. Start by learning more about your pregnancy with a pregnancy test and a limited ultrasound, then take time to understand your options.
Ohana Health provides free pregnancy services and a safe place to ask questions and talk through your concerns.
Contact us to make your appointment.
Ohana Health does not provide or refer for abortions.
